“wtf is this shit?” That was the comment one individual made in response to a recent facebook post about my poetry anthology, Reborn and Other Versifications. No serious inquiry as to the subject matter, no friendly congratulations, no thoughtful critique. Simply the vulgar question, “wtf is this shit?” I don’t know the person who framed the question so eloquently; nor do I know why he asked the question in the way he did. Feedback is a gift, for sure; how else would we learn and sharpen our skill? But this?
In “Words, Healing, and the Origin,” on August 20, 2018, I wrote about how words have the power to hurt or to heal, to enslave or to free, or to simply influence. Monarchs, dictators, politicians, and salesmen have used this power to sway their audience one way or the other since the beginning. Propogandists use words to label their enemy as subhuman and, therefore, not deserving of respect or even life. We verbally ridicule and degrade each other to gain the upper hand. Often, our words are softened as if to offer thoughtful criticism or advice, while our intent is to gain supremacy. It is control that we desire, and words are often our weapon of choice. Presten Ni, M.S.B.A., says that jealously can drive a narcissist to make disparaging remarks to make themselves feel better about their own inferiority.1
There is some science behind this. In her article, “Words Can Change Your Brain,” Therese Borchard, citing work by Andrew Newberg, M.D., and Mark Waldman, reports that words possess the ability to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress. Positive words altar the expression of genes in the frontal lobe, strengthening that area and promoting cognitive functioning. Negative or hostile language, on the other hand, can disrupt the genes that produce stress-reducing neurochemicals. A single negative word can increase the activity in the fear center of the brain, the amygdala, resulting in the release stress-producing hormones and neurotransmitters, interrupting our brain’s normal functioning, thus impairing logic, reasoning, and language.2
I don’t mean to peddle pop-psychology, and I can’t say for certain whether or not the gentleman I referred to in the beginning of this blog was a narcissist. I am sure, though, that we all experience narcissistic moments now and then. Who among us has not thrown mud at someone else’s achievement or stature to see what sticks? The point is that words can be weaponized. Whether it’ a pot shot now and then, or a full-on barrage of negativity over an extended period, words have the power to hurt if not completely destroy. As I look upon my neighbor and see the fractured image of God my origin, it would serve me better to demonstrate love for my neighbor through a kind word of encouragement than a harsh rebuke. As Jesus said, “For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”3
A. E. Fonner
As I look upon my neighbor and see the fractured image of God my origin, it would serve me better to demonstrate love for my neighbor through a kind word of encouragement than a harsh rebuke.
1Ni, Presten, “5 Ways Narcissists Compensate for Their Inferiority,” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201807/5-ways-narcissists-compensate-their-inferiority?eml, (Sept. 5, 2018)
2Borchard, Therese J, “Words Can Change Your Brain,” https://psychcentral.com/blog/words-can-change-your-brain/, (Sept. 4, 2018).
3Matt 12:37
