Gratitude is defined in merriem-webster.com as, “the state of being grateful; thankfulness.”  Mr. Webster further defines grateful as, “appreciative of benefits received.”  So, I express gratitude following receipt of some benefit; and, the benefit is realized from some expectation I have. Katie Lane (@allamericanlane) recently reminded me that gratitude is a great way to battle negativity; but, unreasonable expectations can lead to disharmony as I pile unreasonable or irrational hopes upon unsuspecting family, friends, or acquaintances (twitter.com, 9/20/18).  Of course, the unwary fools invariably fail to meet my demands, whereby I become angry and disillusioned.  Perhaps I lash out at those who failed me.  “How dare they NOT meet my expectation?” I grumble under my breath.  I become isolated and alone.

I think it’s fair to say that anytime I place my hopes and dreams solely on the shoulders of another human being, chances are that I will be disappointed.  But why do I even have expectations to begin with, and why would I expect another person to satisfy them?  An expectation can be defined as a strong belief that something will happen or will be the case in the future.  Such belief likely comes from knowledge, experience, or faith, with perhaps a touch of naivety thrown in to the mix.

Being separated from God my origin (the source of all knowledge, joy, peace, and contentment) I am drawn to that which possesses the likeness God my origin: my neighbor, the “other.”  Because my neighbor and I share the image of God my origin, we have a certain kinship; we are alike.  There is a camaraderie and trust between us.  As such, I have an expectation for that “other,” in whom I see the image of both myself and God my origin, to satisfy need that I cannot satisfy myself.  However, it is precisely that my neighbor is not God my origin, but only a likeness of that origin, that he or she is unable satisfy.  I wonder if this is what @allamericanlane meant when she said, “When you realize that no one owes you anything, you can learn to let go of expectations.”

Again, I ask, why do I have expectations to begin with?  I think that expectations are born as an emotional manifestation of my longing to be reunited with God my origin.  As I alluded to previously, mistaking my neighbor, the “other,” to be one “like God,” I foist my expectations on him or her.  In reality, though, I must be in right relationship with God my origin to have balance between myself, my neighbor, and God.  The origin is a mountain spring whose living waters flow to refresh and nourish the land.  Where the waters are stopped from flowing, a stale pool forms where disease proliferates, and decay ensues.  To be sure, it is not for me to place expectations on my neighbor.  Rather, it is I who am to be a conduit through which the goodness of God my origin flows to nourish and refresh my neighbor.  Gratitude in its purest is not realized from what I receive; it is manifested by the life that flows through me as I minister to my neighbor in right relation to God my origin.

A. E. Fonner

Gratitude in its purest is not realized from what I receive; it is manifested by the life that flows through me as I minister to my neighbor in right relation to God my origin.